I know Christmas is approaching, because I have been freezing my cute little tushy off in mini-dresses the last few days, and have also been hearing all of my favorite Christmas songs on the radio. It takes two songs to get me in the mood for Christmas...Only two..."Last Christmas" by George Michael and "Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC. It takes two, not to be confused with "It Takes Two" by Rob Base. Believe it or not, that song actually had a moment amongst all of the other bad 90's tunes. Honestly, I'm not going to lie. If I heard Rob Base right now I would dance all around my apartment like it was 1999. BTW, NYE 1999 wasn't as thrilling as I thought it would be. Okay, enough is enough, I am talking about Christmas memories and not how ADD affects your attention span.
Some of my best Christmas memories involve car rides. When my sister and I were little, my mother would load us up in the car with blankets and hot cocoa. She made sure that we were in our best pajamas. The purpose of the car ride was to drive around the neighborhood and look at Christmas lights, however, I think I ended up suffereing permanent brain damage. My mother had a pimp-ass Ford Falcon. It was red and it was smokin'. There was one small problem with the Falcon. It had a hole in the floor board of the driver's side. The hole was covered up by the floor mat, but somehow God intended for carbon monoxide to penetrate through the hole and kill my brain. I am convinced it was the carbon monoxide and not all of the Mary Jane I smoked as a teenager.
Another entertaining car ride occurred a few years ago. My entire family which included my parental units, sister and brother-in-law and maybe even a dog drove to see some sort of light extravaganza on Lake Lanier. One yard featured a Santa figure who kept bending down and bobbing. Let's just say it appeared that Santa was simulating an exercise of oral pleasure. Next I heard, "hmmmm...what is Santa doing"? That question will stay with me until the day I die.
I have too many other Christmas memories to list, but I have to add that my sister and I would play the "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" LP over and over and over just like a broken record. We still randomly ask each other "Santy Claus, why are you stealing our Christmas tree"?
Last but not least, my father took me to see "A Christmas Story" when it first came out in the theater. Yes, I am old, but I thank Baby Jesus this Christmas that I still look good!
Happy Holidays!
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