I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with shots of tequila than Kay. Maybe Kay and Jack Daniels should hook up. This is precisely why I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. I have the blurriest beer goggles ever. I can think of many games of "slap and tickle" that I have played that I would like to shelve and accumulate so much dust that they disappear.
My quest to make a complete fool out of myself began in high school. Two bottles of Boone's Farm all to myself every Friday night was enough to get any party started...The kind of party you would like to forget. The kind of party that ended up with remnants of Krispy Kreme doughnuts all over your bedroom wall. My life would not have been complete if I had not carried the tradition on throughout college so I did. I carried it like an Olympic torch. There were several nights where drinking was my name and fraternity houses were my game. The night always began with a dance to the Garth Brooks classic, "Friends In Low Places" at a fraternity party. The walk of shame the next day was a pretty low place, but a braggable right at the same time.
Most of us have absorbed way too many shots and made bad decisions on more than one occasion. It's always one of those nights when your pores are screaming at you to pour something strong and sticky into them. These bad decisions usually fester into some of the worst sexual experiences of your life. And you usually wake up with a mind bending headache which as it produces optical illusions you find yourself saying, "I think I have a tumor!" I actually I have one of those headaches right now, however, I did not seize the opportunity the make any bad decisions last night. I opted to have a major meltdown instead. It wasn't my best work and it was hardly entertaining, but I needed the release.
Sure, there are some nights that I still drink like I am on Bourbon Street, however, I don't indulge in bad decisions anymore. How and Why?
How? As you age you gain wisdom and enough good credit to purchase that truckload of self-respect.
Why? I don't need anymore stories. I have far too many!
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