Welcome to college ladies. The standard college acceptance letter should state that you cannot graduate until you have spent the night in a frat house. Face it ladies. At some point in college we all wore our panties to keep our ankles warm.
Frat guys know all the tricks to get a girl to hug them lying down. The one that usually works is to give her another beer. Enough beers and she will be screaming her mating call out at the top of her lungs. It goes a little like this. "I'm sooooooo drunk, I'm sooooooo drunk."
Praise anyone that you can think of that I only had one of those experiences. I did pretty good considering Florida State was voted the ultimate party school. When I attended the motto was that you could always retake a class, however, you could never relive a party.
Sooo here we go. I went to a party one night with my friends at the Pi Kappa Phi house. It is amazing that I still remember that detail. I was drinking and doing my thing and then out of the blue some guy just plants one on me, and to this day it may have been the best kiss ever. Sad, but true. A week later I found out that his name was "Clay", because I was friends with one of his frat brothers and he was asking about me. My friend, whose name I don't even remember escorted me to meet "Clay" at around, let's say an inappropriate hour. We met at the Westcott Fountain which was centrally located between my dorm and his frat house. We played in the fountain, I fell off the top of the fountain and well you know the rest. A few days later was parent's weekend and I had a lovely bruise which scaled my entire thigh to show off to my parents. I kept in classy in Tallahassee for sure.
So about a week later my friend told me that "Clay" had a note on his door with simply a broken heart drawn on it. He wanted to know if it was me. Are you kidding me?! Some girls may be unlike toilets in the sense that a toilet doesn't follow you around for a week after you use it, but not me! It was a totally unforgettable experience and I wouldn't have left a note on his door even if I was sleepwalking.
One night I had a dream that my father said these words to me before I left for college.
You can date each and every KA, but bring home a SigEp for a husband.
You can party with the Delts, and it's fine to date a Lambda, but when it's time to marry, be sure to find a SigEp. Pi Kapp's can be on your agenda, and ATO's are fun for a date, but never, ever forget that you'll want a SigEp as your mate.
We want you to enjoy your college years and give all the fraternities a spin, but never accept a ring unless Sigma Phi Epsilon is on his pin.
During your four years of college, you'll go from one house to another, but take the advice of your smiling ole dad and bring home a SigEp to your mother.
MY ONE ROMP WITH A PI KAPP MUST BE THE REASON WHY I NEVER MARRIED. : )
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