Friday, October 8, 2010

Manthers VS. Cougars ~ The Battle Of The Sexes & Age Disparity

"There Is Always A 20 Year Old Out There Looking To Hook Up With Mrs. Robinson."
~Me, As I Approached 30.

I can't remember the last time I went out with someone my age or older than me.  To determine the youngest person you should date, take one half of your age, and add seven years.  You shouldn’t date anyone younger than that.  I am no math scholar, however, I have faith in my calculator and it states that I could still get away with dating/bedding  a college student in an MBA program.  Men should take their age, divide by two and add seven.  Apparently, men are supposed to date younger women and women can "get away with" dating younger men.  As usual, there appears to be a double standard.  Shocking!

They say that men mature slower than women.  Personally, I think that when men reach their 40's they just start to digress and need their bananas mashed up.  They also need to be the center of attention and are frequently selfish. However, all charming people are spoiled.  Trust me, I should know.  They get hormonal too.  I can't decide if I should ask them if they need a diaper or a tampon.  They appear to be menopausal hence the prefix "men".  There are easier things in life then dating men like this like nailing jelly to a tree for example.  And if I do come across single men my age or older they resemble a pumpkin who has had everything scraped out of his head with a spoon.

Ultimately, I would like to spend my life with someone my age.  Someone who remembers Jiffy Pop, Atari, the invention of the microwave and so on, but if I was meant to be with someone my age I think he already got hit by a truck.  For now, I think I will just THOROUGHLY enjoy dating younger men.  It was fun when I did it before.  I actually started perfecting the art of being a goddess to younger men when I was 28.  I had just exited an 8 year relationship with a complete bottom feeder who was beneath me and might I add did not know how to get beneath me in the right way.  I was free and I was ready to see the free world.  I lived in a college town so I was swimming in a sea of Freshmen.  My only hang up at the time was that I felt I had to compete with every younger guys crush on Britney Spears, but nobody wants to even hear about that train wreck now so I am in business.  It's Britney Bitch!

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