Aunt Alert

A recent chain of unfortunate events coupled with a reoccurring nightmare prompted me to want to make a change in my life and a big one at that. I thought about what I always say to people..."Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it." I needed a plan to "get over it". I decided that the day after payday which is two days from now that I would pick up and jet off to Mexico. As I was holding my cute nephew yesterday, I thought it would be a great idea to take him as a companion. At 5 1/2 months, I think he is ready to travel. He is an awesome little man. I prefer to travel with men who are taller than me, but whatever. He obviously thinks I am attractive, because he drools all over me. I must make him happy, because he is constantly smiling at me. The only down side is that when he is fussy, I really don't know what he is trying to tell me, but the upside of that is I can just plug his mouth so I don't have to hear his accusations. I have this technique where I slip the tip of my finger in the outside surface of his pacifier and he seems to love that.

I have one problem. Now that I have alerted my sister and anyone else who has access to her facebook page that I will promptly be kidnapping him at 6 am Wednesday morning, I realize this is not a good idea and I must say farewell to my little nephew. I have written him a letter and it goes a little like this:

Dear Nephew,

Your Aunt that makes everybody smile has totally screwed up her life and realizes that only sun and alcohol will make it better. Even an "on-again, off-again" said that one day my babies would be born with umbrellas in their belly buttons. I will dearly miss you, however, I will send you messages in bottles (empty airplane bottles of tequila to be exact). I look forward to the day when we can be reunited with your first drink.

Love,
Your Crazy Aunt Who Your Mother Says You Love Because She Is Who She Is

Yay! I'm going to Mexico! Hasta la vista!