Since the beginning of time, breaking up has been hard to do...For most people that is.
The ways to accomplish the dirty deed have been many and varied. Many cowardly souls have decided to find ways to break up without looking the potential dumpee in the eyes, because many people who meet the fate of being dumped often try every way they can to manipulate their way out of being dumped. They cry, act as if it were a crying shame, and then cry some more. Violence has been known to occur and more than one person has been socked, punched or felt the sting of a flying hairbrush. I once had a boyfriend who tried to run us off the road into a ditch. I presume he was going for the whole murder-suicide thing long before the unstable wife of Saturday Night Live's Phil Hartman ever did. These acts usually do not occur if the break up is not in person unless of course you skype it.
Long ago, "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letters were used as the ultimate break-up tool. I wonder if they composed the letters on special paper to honor the occasion. They could have called it "relationary". Would the intoxicating scent of the person's cologne or perfume make it easier to accept or deny the break-up?
Let's not forget about Berger dumping Carrie via a post-it note in the Sex And The City episode of "The Post-It Always Sticks Twice".
I do not think that even God could have invented a more perfect way to break up with someone, however, dumping by text is also the lamest, most retarded thing anyone can ever do with a cell phone.
I myself, am guilty of stating that "I just don't think this is going to work out" via text. Even celebs like Carrie Underwood have admitted to breaking up via text. What's next? Twitter in 140 characters? People are also breaking up via facebook. Although the Internet has completely changed the communication world, breaking up digitally, and especially on facebook, is just bad behavior. Break-ups are never easy, but broadcasting it online is completely humiliating, not to mention it causes emotional trauma that is hard to get past. Consider the other person's feelings before you start a great conversation piece on the Internet.
Being dumped by text is a bitter blow, but at least you know you are being dumped. Right after high school I was dumped, but had no idea that I was being dumped. BTW, that was the first and last time I was dumped...20 years and going strong. It started out as what I thought would be a normal day in our relationship. We had planned on going golfing with his best friend and his girlfriend. We stopped off at Burger King to have lunch. The day was doomed already. The whole time we were eating he kept playing with his lucky golf ball. I found it to be annoying, but whatever, he was the cutest guy in school. I didn't spend much time with him at the golf course, because the other girlfriend and I were drinking 40's and wrecking the golf cart all afternoon. Next thing I knew, he was leaving and asking his best friend to take me home. I guess I missed the part where the Good Year blimp flew over us with a tag telling him that the other girl that he liked called, because a week later he called me and told me that we were broken up. I haven't been golfing since which is a damn shame because I look super cute in short skirts.
Extra Credit: We all know the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but a castle cover-up concealed for years the existence of an eighth dwarf, and his long-standing relationship with Snow White. He was known as "Dumpee".
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