Oh Baby!

DISCLAIMER: My oven does not have a bun in it. The piranha has not cracked the egg yet.

All changes when one has a baby. It is the start of a brand new life. Mixed drinks turn into mixed emotions. You wonder if it will be a boy or a girl and what it will think of the world. You realize you are really growing up and settling down.

There are several fun activities that you can do to prepare for children. To prepare for children you should go to the grocery store and arrange to have your salary paid to their corporate office. When preparing for dressing small children, buy a live octopus and try to fit it into a ziploc bag without its tentacles hanging out. To prepare for messes, take chocolate and smear it all over the furniture. Also, hide a fish behind the refrigerator and leave it there all summer. When preparing for long trips, tape a recording of someone asking "are we there yet?" repeatedly. There should be no more than a 10 second delay between questions. When preparing your vehicle, take Chuck E. Cheese tokens and slide them into the cd player. Also, take peanut butter cups and smear them all over the seats.

Looking back on my childhood, the conditions for creativity resembled a perfect storm. I was a builder. I took my mother's best bed sheets and made tents in the backyard. I was a beautician, because I would give all of my dolls haircuts. No need to be a plastic surgeon, because Barbie already had huge fun bags. I was also quite the barterer. I would "borrow" my mother's belongings and trade them with my neighborhood friends. I was a chef. I would set up a taco bar weekly for my parents.

Like most kids, I could not wait to grow up. If I knew then what I know now I would have wished upon a different star.

I find myself wondering where time went and why did it leave me all alone. Time went so fast. It seems like yesterday that I could not wait to be older. Looking back, those were the best days of my life. I survived trying to find myself. Now I have boxes of unspoken dreams. You think of all the things you were supposed to be and never will be. Treasure the memories that you will always remember. Live in forever, and hold on to the moments.