Katie Chandler: See that's all I want to do Billy-Boy. I want to leap off this pier and fly high in the air and hang with the wind and drift through the clouds, and at night, with the moon full and the sea wild, I would meet my lover high on a cliff and we'd swoop down into the ocean and swim all the way down and touch the bottom and come up through the dark water and break the surface. Then we'd fly to Jamaica for Pina Coladas... God, I wish I could do that.
In 1988's "Stealing Home", Billy Wyatt is a washed-up, middle-aged baseball player who is called back home to handle the ashes of his first love, Katie Chandler who had committed suicide. As he searches for what to do with them, he remembers the past and the relationship they had. In doing so he finds himself again.
To some this movie is so bittersweet that it is sickening, but it touches the heart in a way that leaves you nostalgic. This is my favorite movie and it ALWAYS inspires me to reflect.
There was a point in my life when I was in love with somebody who didn't love me back. He was infatuated with me, but he just didn't feel the same way I did. I found that I was trying to alter myself to his pleasing or what I thought he liked. I compromised myself. I seemed to stray away from people who could appreciate and return my adoration. This way of thinking was a quick launch to a negative space that certainly affected all aspects of my life. I had to break that cycle and refocus myself and my sights on something or someone else. I had to find myself again. It took several years to do so, but once I did I was ready...I found my way back to me and everything I used to be.
One morning I woke up and looked over at somebody very special and realized that it was time to let go. I jumped out of bed and rushed to post the following note on my facebook page:
How Fast Love Letters Burn...
Friday, May 8, 2009 at 6:46am
I gave my heart away a long time ago to somebody...Somebody who didn't really deserve it and I never felt like I really got it back, but now I have a new heart. Because I am FINALLY letting go, I decided to pull this love letter out of the vault, that which has collected so much dust. The person which I speak of asked me to write him a love letter so I did and it goes a little something like this...
Dear (Name Has No Relevance),
I will touch my mouth unto the leaves, caressingly, and so wilt thou. Thus from these lips of mine my message will go kissingly to thine with more than Fancy's load of luxury and prove a true love letter. I will whisper something into your heart. I was born to be yours, and I gave my life to you as soon as I saw you. I have only seen you, I have admired only you, I desire only you. I love in you that which is eternal and precious--your heart and your soul. You alone have succeeded in combining the strength and devotion of a man with the delicate tenderness of a woman; the most luscious fruits of friendship with the most fragrant flowers of love. Now in the quiet of the morning and in the warmth of my bed a drugged and dreamy feeling steals over me and I am with you once more. Lying here I love to think you near me, your arms encompassing me, my head buried in your shoulder, catching the rhythm of your breathing and living for a few exquisite moments as one being--I said I was dreaming, but I am so delightfully intoxicated, relishing such heavenly moments with you that I wish it to go on forever. Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, and everything invites me to cherish it. The fire consuming me gives to my heart, to all the faculties of my soul, resilience, an activity which is diffused through my affections. Since I loved you, my friends are dearer to me, and I love myself more. I have told my passion, my eyes have spoke it, my tongue pronounced it, and my pen declared it. Now my heart is full of you, my head raves of you, and my hand writes to you.
Love,
Diane
© 2001
Somebody finally came along and sealed my broken heart and he filled it with love and happiness. He is forever in my heart. Even when he is gone, he is near to me. He knows a part of me that I could never find. I hope to one day heal him the way he has healed me. It's unbelievable, but I believe it...
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