Running With Simple Instructions: Accepting & Admitting That You May Have Jumped The Gun

When women go wrong, men go right after them. ~ Mae West

I have made an olympic sport out of making mistakes. If you don't believe me you can obtain reference letters from my friends and family who so kindly put up with my antics. Whatever you do, please don't get my boyfriend started. However, if you insist, make sure he has plenty of water so he doesn't lose his voice.

The "Wrongs of Diane's Life" begin with waking up every morning. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. That is wrong. I was born with a crooked foot. That seems wrong. In the 1st grade, I bribed some afro-clad kid named Marvin to do my homework with a pack of grape Hubba Bubba that I "borrowed" from my grandmother. Now that just felt wrong, when the teacher found out and hit me over the head with a book. True story. She ranks in my top 2 of the most bitchiest teachers in Florida. In the 3rd grade I dug a ditch in the front yard. I knew that was wrong when my mother got me up early before school the next day to fill it back up. Does anyone remember how early elementary school starts? Yeah, she got me up pretty early. There I was with a shovel in my pink flannel nightgown. The only other people who were up were the sanitation engineers. In high school, I got caught smoking in my bedroom of all places and drinking underage. The parental lectures and stares I received were just wrong. I can't sit still as it is, much less sit through a lecture where somebody is professing that "they didn't raise me that way".

We are all guilty of maintaining stubborn pride. Somebody once nicknamed me "stubborn-proud". MOST men are way too stubborn to admit when they are wrong. They would rather shove bamboo underneath their fingernails as opposed to the simple act of apologizing. I would expect nothing less of a group of people who don't even like to stop and ask for directions. Let's not forget how common this trait is among women. SOME women will pretend like nothing happened. It is as if their mind has been erased.

As much as it stings like a farm of bees who lost their honey to the government, you should assume responsibility and admit when you are wrong. Next, you need to realize the consequences of your mistake. Finally, you need to make things right and ask for forgiveness. Even if that means cleaning up something that AJAX would struggle with.

For as much as we are wrong, we are also right. The key is to finding the things you are good at and right about and practicing them, because practice makes perfect.

I myself, have just about perfected being forced to tell my boyfriend that I was wrong after every stupid fight that I started. Now that is the "right" thing to do. Hopefully he will marry me before I commit too many more wrongs and drive him so crazy that he smothers me in my sleep. Now that would be "wrong".