Ceiling Cat is known to teleport between houses and poke his head through holes in the ceiling to watch people do things that a good WASP never mentions. If there is not a hole in your ceiling, then he will make one. Some consider this to be an invasion of privacy, but if Ceiling Cat does not approve of something, he is known to destroy entire planets with his deadly eye lasers.
It is debatable whether or not she has mythical or supernatural powers, but last night at bedtime, Izabella also known as "Izzy", "Bella", "Izzy To The B", Bitch and so forth was at it again. That is, she was having an intimate encounter with the ceiling. She was relentlessly, visually pursuing a bug that was naked to my human eye, especially in the dark. It was if she was Ozzy Osbourne and barking at the moon. Her death-defying meows translated into "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
Like a good cat owner, I succumbed to her threats and smothered this poor bug so she would put a lid on it. At least the bug died in comfort. I only use the best toilet paper with aloe vera in the between the sheets. As I lay there wondering why I am in an abusive relationship with a pet, I proceeded to pet her to calm her down and that is when it happened. She broke out into a kitty hissy fit. It was like she was using the excuse of "Not now, I have a headache." I am willing to bet the $1.33 in change in my beer money jar that I will go to my grave not understanding what makes cats tick like a time bomb.
So while I may not know much about what goes on in my cat's head, I have managed to figure out a thing or three about her.
She is pretty good at running a household. She is a wonderful hostess. She always accompanies guests to the bathroom. She doesn't find it necessary to do anything but just sit and stare.
She also likes to read, because everytime I pick up a book she gets in right underneath my chin.
She seems to want to help me improve upon my coordination skills because she tests them out frequently. She darts quickly and as close as possible in front of me especially when I have something in my arms.
Cats believe that humans have three primary functions which are to feed them, play with them and clean their litter box. It is important to maintain your dignity and show your cat who is king/queen of the castle. Right. Once again I am about to go home and ease into the front door, hoping that my cat will give me permission to stay for one more night. One thing is for sure, I can definitely count on her rubbing in my face the fact that she can lick herself and I can't. Wish me luck.
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